Nothing special at work today. Although I find out the day I'm not there is the day everyone, and their mother decided to buy all the extra swag with their loss leader purchases. So now I look like crap for the whole month, another thing to get yelled at about. As long as I don't get fired before I find something that pays better I'll be okay I suppose.
Since I have no real "Fun money" to speak of for quite some time as I've got some debts to pay off, and events coming up to pay for, I decided to go through my back catalog of unfinished games.
For the uninitiated, many of the "Blockbuster" games that come out every year are so huge, they can take anywhere from 12-30 hours to complete. I'm an action gamer so I actually have an easier time than the RPG gamers.
Many traditional Role Playing Games can take 70 hours or more. That doesn't count the money sucking crack RPG world of MMO (Massively Multiplayer Online) where you pay for the game, and then a monthly bill to access the server you play the game on. I have a friend who used to play MMO's constantly. First it was Ultima Online, then Asheron's Call, then AC2, then World Of Warcraft up until it's first expansion pack. I didn't see him for two years.
That's not to say I think mmo gamers are all addicts or that the games do nothing fun or well. 9 million wow fans can't be completely wrong when many are pals who go in on it together. but that's another story for another time.
Anyhow, while I get bored out of my skull with RPG's seeing all the math involved, and I like to leave the house once in awhile I've always been more an action gamer. Games that require reflexes, can still tell an endearing story in an ample amount of time, and if they're multiplayer all the better.
The trouble is, as you get older, or as your cavalcade of friends becomes a little diversified you don't have as much time to spend by yourself on the hobby. Which is also a good thing as too much of a good thing can turn out not to be good.
Getting back to the mmo's before I get flamed, Yes, I am aware many mmo's come up with a pop up telling people to take breaks to avoid becoming poopsockers.
The other thing is the sheer number of blockbusters they release to stay competitive means that many of us don't always get to finish the games before playing something new.
But sometimes this works in one's favor as when you blow your whole paycheck on something important like rent, or the utilities, or even the processed snack foods, and energy drinks to keep you going through a particularly tough mission you're not going to have the greenbacks for a new release.
So why not save some money? Wait for that new release to hit the bargain bin, and finish up the gems, and even the stinkers you never got around to completing after that last hard drive crash.
To make a long story short (Too late! Ha Ha!) Seeing how this week, I have no pub money, tunage money, gaming money, or money for any other inconsequential expense, I fired up some old games. Starting where they left off.
I started with Doom 3. I had stopped playing about a third of the way through back in 04 because my UT clanning was a lot more sociable, and fun. Plus I had other newer games to play, and I also had a lot of Punk Rock bands to see that year. That said, I've been playing after work this week, and I've only got three levels left. After this I'll take a break, and move onto....
Far Cry. "You haven't beaten it yet?" A lot of gamers reading this will say. The fact is, I got this game as I was going from an old computer to my current one, and it got lost in the shuffle. Plus like Crytek's other big game Crysis reportedly does, it drags at the end. But, I have to beat the thing. Then maybe I can complete....
STALKER. I got it for my birthday last year (Not my recent thirty first). I was too into Lost Planet PC, and what few friends, and acquaintances I had at the time to finish. So it sat while I was going to shows, and get togethers where we played more multiplayer games.
I have a few other unbeaten ones of course, but these are probably the biggest three to go through.
And when I'm done with them I may even have some time to go outside, until it gets too unbearably muggy.
Shades of Julia
Written and Copyright (C)2008 Richard Hossan
I don't get it
Everytime they say goodbye
(And they ALWAYS say goodbye)
I see shades of you
I don't get it
They never tell me why
(And they know I need to know to grow)
I see shades of you
Make no mistake
I'm over you
Never going out of the way
To think of you
But never a clue
Never the truth
Never the chance to make a clean break
And in "Neither do they" appear shades of you
I don't get it
In every pub depression
(The only valid time for drunk)
I see shades of you
I don't get it
Every time they walk away
(And they ALWAYS walk away)
I see shades of you
..................................Will you ever give a valid answer?
As I stated in a previous post I traded in a bunch of stuff at Gamestop. Normally I would hold a tag sale, but honestly I wouldn't fare much better with these (Mostly) crappy titles.
That said I made out better cause I dropped off a LOT of (Mostly) crappy titles EGM's Seanbaby did this in an article one time which resulted in hilarity. So.........
Just for boredom's sake let's look at the list (All games are for the Gamecube):
The Simpsons: Road Rage $7.80 (Was a gift a few years ago. It's a mediocre Crazy Taxi clone.They probably spent $20)
I-Ninja $1.30 (Paid $12 a few years ago. Beat it. ZERO replay value)
Pac Man World 2 (w Vs. Bonus ) $3.90 (See I-Ninja)
Black & Bruised $0.33 (Actually MADE money believe it or not. Got it for free at KB during a promo)
Timesplitters 2 $1.95 (Was actually a great game when it came out in 2k2. But nobody wants to play it anymore, and I've done all there is to do with it. Plus nobody ever played the multiplayer when we have Quake and UT)
Street Racing Syndicate $1.30 (Shite, Shite, Shite. Tepid reviews still made it sound like a somewhat enjoyable title. So when I saw it for $30 I gave it a spin. Not even the PG ified softcore stars that play your possible "Girlfriends" save this mess. I lost $28.70 but cutting my losses is better than crap cluttering up the bookshelf.)
NHL Hitz 2k2 $0.33 (Gamecube Launch title. Fun for the first year or two but then nobody wanted to play it at parties anymore. Considering sports games get rereleased every year with a new number, 33 cents is more than I expected)
James Bond: Agent under fire $0.65 (Considering I blew through it in less than a day, the multiplayer sucks, and it sells there for $1.99 I can't say I expected much anyway. I hope whoever got it for me way back when didn't pay too much)
Star Wars: Rogue Leader $1.30 (Did all there was to do with it. It was a launch title, and it's sequel had everything in this game in it plus new stuff. It also sells for like four dollars now so I can't say I'm surprised)
NBA Courtside 2k2 $0.33 (See NHL Hitz)
Chaos Field $1.30 (Bought it two years ago for ten dollars new. It's only boss battles. Like they were too lazy to make levels.)
Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters $2.60 (Wanted to like this game but it's sloppy controls, and repetitive mundane gameplay make for a snoozer. I probably lost around $38.40 considering I bought it when it came out)
Speed Kings $1.95 ( An average racer. I got it for a gift one year. It's ok, but there are so many better racers out there that this one eats, and collects dust.)
Burnout 2 $9.10 (Sweet game, but when all your buddies have since moved onto Burnout 3, 4, and Paradise are any of them going to come back to the second one? At least it'll be the lone gem in the bargain bin. I only spent $20 on it in 2002 so it's not all bad)
Wave Race 2 $1.95 (Another launch title. Don't let the avg score percentage fool you. It isn't fun. Graphically it impressed. But it was rather slipshod when it came to play control.)
True Crime: Streets of LA $0.65 (Another gift. Another average game with play control problems. Enjoyable enough to beat once. It has Christopher Walken in it. Much better than it's total POS sequel which is sad on a number of levels)
Splinter Cell $0.97 (Another gift. Another game with zero replay value. Another nerfed port of an exceptional PC game)
Splinter Cell 2 $1.30 (See above)
Today after oversleeping I went out to Wallingford to (Finally) get a chance to check out Red Scroll Records
Ever since the evil Minuteman press franchisee decided to pay off their landlord here in town to not renew the lease of Trash my music buying has gone down the crapper. Trash was pretty much the only music store worth going to in Danbury. But the guys at Red Scroll were reportedly heavily influenced by Malcom Tent's store, so I finally had the chance to check it out. It's a little bit smaller than Trash was, a little bit better organized, but with the same general layout. The prices are more than fair, and it's almost as laid back as Trash was. I found a really cool album there
C64 Orchestra It's made up of two 8 bit era game music composers, and their orchestra.The legendary Jeroen Tel, and Ron Hubbard (Not the dianetics guy) take several of their game tunes (Including a wondrously epic edition of Capcom's Commando. ) and cover them with an actual orchestra. No synth here folks. It's as if John Williams was doing the score for a Cybernoid flick.
There's also a second disc included with the original Chiptunes, along with bonus content.
I also bought a store T shirt while I was there.
I stopped into the Wallingford McDonald's and found a few interesting franchise differences over the several Danbury locations.
- Cleaner
- Still offering the Big n' Tasty where most of the other ones across the State I've been to do not.
- Actually has the "Other" mascots up (Besides Ronald Mc Donald)
I also noticed certain sandwiches cost more for some reason. The fact that the place was cleaner did not make me any less nauseated after eating though. I don't know why I punish myself with fast food.
When I got back to Danbury I went to Gamestop, and traded in 17 fairly mediocre Gamecube games. I received just shy of $40 which is a lot more than I expected to get. My brother really seems to like Super Smash Bros Brawl since I've let him borrow it so I figure I'll probably use the credit to get a copy for him to put away for Christmas.
My folks won't stop bugging out about wanting to know what happened between me and the friend who now probably hates my guts. I really wish they would just leave me alone already. They should know I always screw up good things by now anyway.
In the good news department Ashley, and J's card came in the mail today. It cheered me up a bit so thank you :)
What was the last thing you built with your own hands?
Submitted by Nick.
My computer. Now I didn't make the transistors, PCB's, card slots, or memory chips, but I did put it all together myself.
Share a song that explains your current state of being.
While the situation in the song is different as it's pertaining to a couple, it's not fun being on the outs
with friends either. But what can you do?
Enjoy.
Can't sleep
Gotta work in six hours
Not quite as sick as all last week but still icky
Still feeling guilty, and unwanted
Hopefully therapy changes this, and problematic behaviors previously only seen on talk shows
Don't want to work ever again
Woman who had heart attack during mass makes me feel pathetic as my problems are lame o in comparison
Praying for woman who had heart attack
Had fun gaming with appendix less brother today
I -84 is all fucked up thanks to construction
I can't sleep
Have to try to sleep
Still have to get Ashley's present in the mail
Have to sleep
Hope I'm not on that wheel that book talked about in Border's. O_0
Have to try to sleep
Allegorically speaking anyway
Work sucked chimp nuts as usual. Vince was in a bad mood. Poopmopper was on a powertrip. I was stuck with fools. The usual crap. At one point some mac fiend tried to deliberately ruin the chances of someone buying a notebook.
I have nothing against people who like Apple, but it's the principal of the thing. How would he like it if I went into his office, and decided to take the phone out of his hand, and started singing the praises of another businesses competing platform? Sure, I don't get any extra coin when I sell something to a customer, but it's just freaking rude.
I can guran - damn - tee the mac fiend would have gone completely apeshit if I had gone into his office mid phone sale, caused him to lose a client by telling them to check out a different vendor, and cost him a major account.
Hell, I probably would have cost him his job at that point.
After work they wanted me to stay late, and I would have, except I had to cash my check, get to the post office, convene with my Brother's best man about the bachelor party plans, and eat something. That, and I fucking hate that place.
I also went to Starbucks to think. I think I might have found a possible therapist, but I'm waiting for a call back.
The last place I tried seemed very nice, and the doctor seemed considerate, but unfortunately couldn't take me because my insurance is teh suck.
I've always suffered depression at some level, on and off from the time of twelve. But I think I may have some kind of anxiety problem since I get panic attacks, and episodes that make me seem like a psycho killer, even though I'm the biggest wuss who ever lived. Or maybe they make me just seem like the biggest wuss who ever lived, and people go "Oh the biggest wuss whoever lived. Eeeeww he's so emo despite the fact that none of his apparel would signify such a stereotypical classification. Yeah let's never hang out with the biggest wuss whoever lived."
I don't know for certain, But I guess I have to find out if I do or don't and if so how to rid myself of such hyperbolic fears. Or at least get enough of a grip on them so I don't creep the shit out of people.
And if I don't have that problem, then find out what the hell is wrong with me so I don't creep the shit out of people.
I don't know. But as Dr. Frank once sang: There's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me,
and I hear it in the way you say "No really it's okay" You say there's something wrong with me I know so go away.
Guilt
Written, and Copyright (C) 2008 Richard Hossan
Ball of razorblades
Rolling around my guts
With every tear you shed
I cough up crimson
Like a dog turns on man's best friend
I've slain someone once loved
Never to be seen again
Except through a scared heart
I'll carry the ball around
Into the northwest end of town
Where once again I'll hemorrhage deep within
There I'll become no one
As my bones bleach under the sun
When Remorse, and Guilt have become ranked assassins
I sacrifice this life
To atone for my misdeeds
To return her corpse to joy
I must shed crimson
With a sword upon trembling neck
A bullet shreds my torso
When I draw breath nevermore
She can finally rest easy
I'll carry the ball around
Into the northwest end of town
Where once again I'll hemorrhage deep within
There I'll become no one
As my bones bleach under the sun
When Remorse, and Guilt have become ranked assassins
